I was dusting my rock shelf the other day…something I hadn’t done in a very long time and it seemed appropriate to dust off my blog as well. I thought I would tell the story of my “Heart of Stone.”
I found the stone years ago on the shore of a local lake while digging for fossils. I was walking with a friend who was vaguely like a boyfriend. We had been hanging out together for several years, but had never gone on a typical date. Our attraction had mostly been physical and by this time, the physical was all we had left. After years of arguing about every little thing under the sun there was no point in trying to have an intellectual conversation. It would only end in anger and exasperation. We were the prime example of “opposite’s attract.”
Despite all that, the discovery of the rock came at a time when I was feeling like we might be able to somehow, someway, make a stab at a real relationship. We couldn’t continue to depend on the physical thing holding us together for much longer. The thought of losing his affection had begun to creep into my thoughts and I wasn’t ready for that. My idea of a relationship wasn’t anything permanent, but maybe we could take it to the next level – like go out to eat in public.
I remember when I saw the stone half buried on the shore. I pulled it out of the sand to inspect what I thought I had seen and sure enough, there was a heart in the stone! This of all symbols to find on that day. I knew it had to mean something. My heart sang! It was as if the Universe was giving me its blessing and affirmation. “Don’t be afraid! There is true love here!”
My friend was down the shore from me. I washed the sand off the stone and hurried to show it to him. He smiled and commented on how cool it was. Then he paused and looked at me and in a moment that had so many possibilities, a moment that could have been so romantic, he said, “Don’t get any ideas.” He then turned and walked on down the shore without me.
Well. It was okay. I was a little disappointed at the time, but a relationship never would have worked. We both knew it. When I came home that day, I placed the stone on my rock shelf in a prominent spot. I looked at it everyday and my desire to see my friend began to wane. I finally broke it off for good, not in a mean way, but in a “we both know it’s coming so let’s just end it now” way. The stone had a lot to do with that. It reminded me that love was what was truly important in my life and still is. Of course, the stone could also represent the harsh cruelties of love… I guess it’s left up to personal interpretation, but I choose to see the positive in this case. ~ M.E.
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Spirit of Place 